Wednesday, 30th September 2026
Rev Xi An Poon
主題經文：「不以惡報惡，以辱罵還辱罵，倒要祝福；因你們是為此蒙召，好叫你們承受福氣。」——彼得前書 3:9
引言
彼得前書第一章告訴我們，我們是蒙揀選、重生、有永恆盼望的人。
到了第二章，彼得開始把這個新的身份帶進我們在地上的生活，讓我們看見，一個屬神的人，即使活在不容易的環境裡，仍然要活出與這個身份相稱的生命。
到了第三章，彼得再把這個更新帶得更深。
他把屬靈生命帶進一個最真實、最貼近我們，也最容易顯出我們真實生命的地方——關係。
而在所有關係裡面，家庭是最真實的地方之一；在家庭裡面，夫妻又是最親密的關係。
所以彼得先對妻子說，生命的見證不只是靠言語，而是藉著敬虔的品行；然後他又對丈夫說：
「你們作丈夫的，也要按情理和妻子同住；因她比你軟弱，與你一同承受生命之恩的，所以要敬重她。這樣，便叫你們的禱告沒有阻礙。」
——彼得前書 3:7
這是一句很重的話。
彼得讓我們看見，我們怎樣對待最親近的人，和我們怎樣來到神面前，並不是兩件完全分開的事。
我們不能一面追求屬靈，一面任由最親近的關係不斷受到傷害。
然後到了第八節，彼得把範圍從夫妻擴展到所有信徒：
「總而言之，你們都要同心，彼此體恤，相愛如弟兄，存慈憐謙卑的心。」
——彼得前書 3:8
彼得讓我們看見，一個真正被福音更新的人，不只是在聚會裡敬虔，而是在關係裡也開始有新的反應。
所以今天我們要問的不是：
「對方應該怎樣改？」
而是：
「在這段關係裡，我要怎樣活出自己所蒙的呼召？」
今天的主題是：
在關係裡承受祝福。
而在關係裡承受祝福，首先不是要求別人先改變，而是自己先學習體恤。
所以第一點：
一、關係要走向合一，先從體恤開始
「總而言之，你們都要同心，彼此體恤……」
——彼得前書 3:8
彼得首先說的是「同心」，然後是「彼此體恤」。
同心不等於每一件事情都有完全一樣的想法。
體恤也不等於沒有立場。
真正的體恤，是我願意暫時放低自己的角度，去理解對方正在經歷甚麼。
很多關係的問題，不一定是因為事情本身有多大，而是因為雙方都很想被明白，卻很少真正去明白對方。
我在說我的理由，
你在說你的感受；
我想證明自己沒有錯，
你想讓我知道你受了傷。
結果兩個人都在說話，卻沒有人真正聽見對方。
所以彼得說：
「彼此體恤。」
在夫妻關係裡更是如此。
第七節說，丈夫要「按情理和妻子同住」。
這裡所表達的，不只是住在同一間屋裡，而是帶著理解去相處，去認識對方，去尊重對方。
所以很多時候，神不是先問我們：
「你有沒有理由？」
神可能先問：
「你有沒有真正明白對方？」
我們常常很快就想改變別人。
但屬靈生命第一個功課，可能不是：
「主啊，求祢改變他。」
而是：
「主啊，先讓我看見我應該改變的地方。」
關係要走向合一，先從體恤開始。
但即使我願意體恤，關係裡仍然會有誤會、有傷害、有衝突。
這個時候，更大的考驗就來了：
當我被傷害的時候，我會怎樣回應？
所以第二點：
二、關係要停止破裂，就不要以傷害回應傷害
「不以惡報惡，以辱罵還辱罵……」
——彼得前書 3:9
這句話很直接。
因為彼得非常明白人的本性。
我們天然的反應就是：
你怎樣對我，我就怎樣對你。
你傷害我，我也要讓你知道我的痛；
你提高聲音，我也提高聲音；
你冷淡我，我也冷淡你；
你不理解我，我也不再理解你。
結果就形成一個循環：
受傷——反擊——再受傷——再反擊。
這也是很多關係一步一步破裂的原因。
但彼得說：
「不以惡報惡，以辱罵還辱罵。」
這不是叫我們假裝沒有事情發生。
也不是說錯的事情不用處理。
彼得所說的是：
不要讓別人的錯，變成我犯罪的理由。
這正是第二章耶穌給我們的榜樣：
「祂被罵不還口；受害不說威嚇的話，只將自己交託那按公義審判人的主。」
——彼得前書 2:23
所以第三章不是突然轉去講另一個題目。
第二章講的是：
耶穌在受傷害的時候怎樣回應。
第三章則把我們帶回自己的生活：
現在當你在關係裡受傷的時候，你怎樣回應？
真正成熟的生命，不是完全沒有情緒。
而是即使有情緒，我仍然選擇不讓情緒決定我的反應。
我可以受傷，卻不一定要傷害；
我可以不同意，卻不一定要羞辱；
我可以有立場，卻不一定要報復。
只要其中一個人願意停止用傷害回應傷害，這個惡性循環才有可能停止。
但彼得沒有只停在「不要還擊」。
基督徒的生命不只是消極地停止傷害，更是積極地選擇另一條路。
所以第三點：
三、蒙召的人，不只是停止還擊，更要選擇祝福
「倒要祝福；因你們是為此蒙召，好叫你們承受福氣。」
——彼得前書 3:9
彼得不是只說：
「不要罵回去。」
他再往前一步：
「倒要祝福。」
這才是真正困難的地方。
因為不還擊已經不容易，祝福那個傷害我們的人更加不容易。
但彼得說：
「你們是為此蒙召。」
換句話說，這不是一個額外的屬靈要求，而是我們蒙召生命的一部分。
我們蒙召，不只是有一天上天堂。
我們蒙召，是今天在地上活出一個不一樣的生命。
別人傷害我，我不一定要用同樣的方法回應。
別人不理解我，我仍然可以選擇體恤。
別人對我不好，我仍然可以選擇不讓惡控制我的生命。
甚至我可以在神面前選擇祝福。
祝福不代表否認問題。
祝福也不代表沒有界線。
祝福是：
我不讓別人的行為決定我要成為一個怎樣的人。
因為我的身份不是由對方決定。
我的身份是由神決定。
彼得接著引用詩篇三十四篇：
「因為主的眼看顧義人；主的耳聽他們的祈禱。」
——彼得前書 3:12
這就再次連回第七節。
第七節說，丈夫若不按神的心意對待妻子，禱告會受到阻礙。
第十二節又說，主的耳聽義人的祈禱。
彼得讓我們看見：
我們與人的關係，和我們與神的關係，不能完全切割。
我不能一面求神祝福我的家庭，
一面又拒絕在家庭裡學習體恤。
我不能一面求神修復關係，
一面又堅持用傷害回應傷害。
我不能一面來到神面前敬拜，
一面又不願意在最親近的人面前學習謙卑。
我們之所以選擇祝福，不是因為對方一定配得。
而是因為：
我是蒙召的人。
我要活出與這個呼召相稱的生命。
這就是：
在關係裡承受祝福。
總結
彼得前書第三章讓我們看見，真正的屬靈生命，最後一定會進入我們最真實的關係。
第一章告訴我們：
我是誰。
第二章告訴我們：
我在這個世界怎樣活。
到了第三章，彼得再問我們：
當我回到家庭、進入最親密的關係、遇到衝突和傷害的時候，我仍然是不是那個屬神的人？
所以今天我們記住三件事：
第一，關係要走向合一，先從體恤開始。
不要只問：「為甚麼他不明白我？」
也要問：
「我有沒有真正明白他？」
第二，關係要停止破裂，就不要以傷害回應傷害。
不要讓別人的錯，成為我犯罪的理由。
第三，蒙召的人，不只是停止還擊，更要選擇祝福。
因為我的反應，不是由對方決定。
我的反應，是由我屬誰來決定。
所以今天，神可能不是首先要我們去改變另一個人。
神可能先問：
「你願不願意讓我先改變你？」
願意體恤，
停止還擊，
選擇祝福。
因為我們是蒙召的人。
在關係裡承受祝福。
Key Verse:
“Not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing.”
— 1 Peter 3:9, NKJV
Introduction
In 1 Peter chapter 1, Peter tells us that we are chosen, born again, and given a living hope.
Then in chapter 2, Peter begins to show us how this new identity should be lived out in this world. Even when the environment around us is difficult, those who belong to God are still called to live in a way that reflects who they are.
By the time we come to chapter 3, Peter takes this transformation even deeper.
He brings our spiritual life into one of the most real and revealing areas of life:
our relationships.
And among all relationships, the family is one of the places where our true life is most clearly revealed. Within the family, the relationship between husband and wife is one of the closest and most intimate relationships of all.
Peter first speaks to wives, showing that a godly life is not expressed only through words, but also through conduct.
Then he speaks to husbands:
“Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife… as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.”
— 1 Peter 3:7
This is a very serious statement.
Peter is showing us that the way we treat those closest to us cannot be separated from our relationship with God.
We cannot pursue spirituality on one hand, while allowing our closest relationships to be continually wounded on the other.
Then in verse 8, Peter broadens the message from husbands and wives to all believers:
“Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous.”
— 1 Peter 3:8
Peter is showing us that a person who has truly been transformed by the gospel will begin to respond differently in relationships.
So today, the first question is not:
“What should the other person change?”
The question is:
“How am I called to live in this relationship?”
Our theme today is:
Receiving Blessing in Relationships.
And receiving blessing in relationships does not begin by demanding that the other person change.
It begins with learning to understand and care for the other person.
So first:
- If a relationship is to move toward unity, it must begin with compassion
“Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another…”
— 1 Peter 3:8
Peter first speaks about being “of one mind,” and then about having “compassion for one another.”
Being of one mind does not mean that we must have exactly the same opinion about everything.
And having compassion does not mean that we have no convictions or boundaries.
True compassion means that I am willing, for a moment, to step outside my own perspective and try to understand what the other person is experiencing.
Many relationship problems are not always caused by the size of the issue itself.
Sometimes the problem is that both people desperately want to be understood, but neither one is truly trying to understand the other.
I am explaining my reasons.
You are explaining your pain.
I want to prove that I am not wrong.
You want me to understand that you have been hurt.
In the end, both people are speaking, but neither one is really hearing the other.
That is why Peter says:
“Have compassion for one another.”
This is especially important in marriage.
Verse 7 says that a husband is to “dwell with her with understanding.”
This is more than simply living in the same house.
It means learning to live together with understanding, knowledge, care, and honor.
So sometimes God may not first ask us:
“Do you have a valid reason?”
He may first ask:
“Have you truly tried to understand the other person?”
We are often very quick to pray:
“Lord, change them.”
But perhaps the first spiritual prayer should be:
“Lord, show me what You want to change in me.”
If a relationship is to move toward unity, it must begin with compassion.
But even when we try to understand one another, relationships will still experience misunderstanding, hurt, and conflict.
And that brings us to a deeper test:
When I am hurt, how will I respond?
So second:
- If a relationship is to stop breaking down, we must stop answering hurt with hurt
“Not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling…”
— 1 Peter 3:9
This is very direct.
Peter understands human nature.
Our natural reaction is often:
“You treat me this way, so I will treat you the same way.”
You hurt me, so I want you to feel my pain.
You raise your voice, so I raise mine.
You become cold toward me, so I become cold toward you.
You refuse to understand me, so I stop trying to understand you.
And slowly a cycle begins:
hurt — retaliation — more hurt — more retaliation.
This is how many relationships gradually break down.
But Peter says:
“Do not return evil for evil or reviling for reviling.”
This does not mean pretending that nothing happened.
It does not mean that wrong behavior should never be addressed.
Peter’s point is this:
Do not allow another person’s wrongdoing to become your reason for doing wrong.
This connects directly to the example of Jesus in chapter 2:
“Who, when He was reviled, did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but committed Himself to Him who judges righteously.”
— 1 Peter 2:23
So chapter 3 is not a completely different subject.
In chapter 2, Peter shows us:
how Jesus responded when He was mistreated.
Then in chapter 3, the question becomes:
How will you respond when you are hurt in your own relationships?
Spiritual maturity does not mean that we never feel emotion.
It means that even when emotions are strong, we do not allow them to control our response.
I may be hurt without choosing to hurt back.
I may disagree without humiliating the other person.
I may hold a firm position without taking revenge.
When even one person decides to stop answering hurt with hurt, the destructive cycle finally has a chance to stop.
But Peter does not stop with simply saying, “Do not retaliate.”
The Christian life is not only about stopping a negative response.
It is also about choosing a completely different response.
So third:
- Those who are called by God do not merely stop retaliating; they choose to bless
“But on the contrary blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing.”
— 1 Peter 3:9
Peter does not simply say:
“Do not speak back.”
He goes one step further:
“On the contrary, blessing.”
This is where the challenge becomes even greater.
Not retaliating is already difficult.
But blessing someone who has hurt us is even harder.
Yet Peter says:
“You were called to this.”
In other words, this is not an optional extra for especially spiritual Christians.
It is part of the life to which we have been called.
We are not called only so that one day we may go to heaven.
We are called to live a different kind of life here and now.
When someone hurts me, I do not have to respond in the same way.
When someone misunderstands me, I can still choose compassion.
When someone treats me wrongly, I do not have to allow evil to control who I become.
I can even choose to bless before God.
Blessing does not mean denying what happened.
Blessing does not mean having no boundaries.
Blessing means:
I will not allow another person’s behavior to decide what kind of person I become.
Because my identity is not determined by them.
My identity is determined by God.
Peter then quotes from Psalm 34:
“For the eyes of the LORD are on the righteous, and His ears are open to their prayers.”
— 1 Peter 3:12
This brings us back again to verse 7.
Verse 7 says that if a husband does not treat his wife in the way God desires, his prayers may be hindered.
Verse 12 says that the Lord’s ears are open to the prayers of the righteous.
Peter is showing us:
our relationship with people and our relationship with God cannot be completely separated.
I cannot ask God to bless my family while refusing to learn compassion in my family.
I cannot ask God to restore a relationship while insisting on responding to hurt with more hurt.
I cannot come before God in worship while refusing to learn humility toward those closest to me.
We choose to bless not because the other person always deserves it.
We choose to bless because:
we are people who have been called by God.
We want to live in a way that is worthy of that calling.
This is what it means to:
Receive Blessing in Relationships.
Conclusion
1 Peter chapter 3 shows us that genuine spiritual life will eventually enter our most real relationships.
Chapter 1 tells us:
Who am I?
Chapter 2 tells us:
How do I live in this world?
Then chapter 3 asks us:
When I return home, enter my closest relationships, and face conflict or hurt, am I still living as someone who belongs to God?
So today, let us remember three things.
First, if a relationship is to move toward unity, it must begin with compassion.
Do not only ask:
“Why does this person not understand me?”
Also ask:
“Have I really tried to understand them?”
Second, if a relationship is to stop breaking down, we must stop answering hurt with hurt.
Do not allow another person’s wrong to become your reason for doing wrong.
Third, those who are called by God do not merely stop retaliating; they choose to bless.
Because my response is not determined by the other person.
My response is determined by whom I belong to.
So today, perhaps God is not first asking us to change someone else.
Perhaps He is asking us:
“Will you allow Me to change you first?”
Learn compassion.
Stop retaliating.
Choose to bless.
Because we are people who have been called by God.
Receiving Blessing in Relationships.
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